Why do all weddings feel the same?
Weddings should be unique, fun and customised to create a special, once in a lifetime event for couples. But more often than not, they become repetitive, tiring, and most certainly expensive. ‘’Keeping up with the Joneses’’ is now ‘’Keeping up with the Bhallas’’ or ‘’Aiyers’’ or ‘’Chatterjees’’ and others. The actual friends and family oriented Indian wedding has almost become as standardised as the Mc. Aloo Tikki Burger being served at best with different chutneys and masalas.
But I want mine to be different. So, what should I do?
It’s your big day. Put your best foot forward. Plan a beautiful celebration in whatever your budget allows- what is most important is that your closest family and friends are sent across an Indian eWedding card asking them to be present in your wedding celebration to make this a memorable day. But also focus on making your guests feel comfortable so that they enjoy all the good things you have planned for them. No matter what you do, the icing on the cake is good planning. It makes even the simple more enjoyable than the elaborate. It’s always a good feeling to have impressed your guests with fancy things, but your focus on making the celebrations more comfortable and personalised for your guests will make them even more memorable.
No one “really” enjoys a very hectic wedding.
To begin with, just think of the most important thing which would help anyone enjoy any wedding. You will agree that when anyone attends a wedding, especially your friends and family members, you and the ceremonies are important, but your guests also want to relax and mingle amongst themselves. So keeping the functions appropriately spaced out with comfortable timings ensures that fatigue doesn’t take the fun away.
What’s a hectic wedding?
Too many formal happenings in a day and especially in a local wedding they sometimes get spread over too many days. I recall getting an wedding card invitation to a local wedding with multiple functions over 5 days, all at scattered locations all over the city. Frankly, it was quite a pain after a while. Another similar memory is a destination wedding in Goa. We had barely reached the hotel after our flight after an hour or more drive from the airport only to be insisted upon to attend the Mehendi lunch which was getting over, we most certainly didn’t look or feel our best. After the Mehendi lunch we were ushered elsewhere to have our evening tea after which we had to change into formals for the Sangeet and Cocktail dinner. The next day offered no respite, with the Pooja in the morning after breakfast, followed by Haldi and lunch which got over only by 4pm, which was followed by evening tea. It didn’t end there, we then rushed back for an outfit change in time for the Sehrabandi and the Baraat. This wedding took my breath away, literally. After the wedding, I felt that most survivors had only a couple of options, either participate in the next Ironman Triathlon or check into a sanitorium for rest and recovery.
But actually, I have attended a chilled out wedding.
Once when I really enjoyed a destination wedding which was quite laid back. We took our flight to Goa (don’t we all love Goa!), checked into the hotel post lunch, as it usually happens and were told that the Mehendi was a casual beach side high tea between 4 and 6 pm. After the Mehendi tea we had time to catch up with everyone else until the Sangeet Dinner started at 9pm. Wearing smart casuals we comfortably partied till the wee hours of the morning, and I am sure that although many of us happily missed the lovely breakfast next morning but were ready in time the bar opened by noon. Post lunch some went back to the rooms to recover some much needed R&R and some of us even had time to fit in a quick swim and chilling session in the pool. We for the first time changed into our formals for the Wedding Ceremony and the reception dinner which followed soon after. Just like the wedding ceremony, the reception was elegant and beautiful. It was actually a relaxed Goan holiday party with a wedding thrown in for effect. Everyone loved every moment of this perfect wedding.
But most of us don’t want a destination wedding.
Neither can most of us, so just relax. As they say, if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Local weddings can be great fun too. Look for venues where you can accommodate your outstation guests, and which are at a reasonable distance for the locals. Try to keep all the events in house and the timings convenient. Don’t squeeze in functions back to back trying to optimise every second and minute of the day. Imagine people coming for a Mehendi lunch and then going back home to get ready for an evening Sangeet and Cocktail Dinner. Maybe it’s doable in smaller towns or your in-house guests but imagine the misery of the people living in big cities and metros where distances and traffic can be a hindrance.
The Perfect Wedding
Every wedding celebration can be planned to be perfect. Let’s agree that we all like to do our best when it comes to the venue, the decoration, the catering, the outfits, the gifts and the celebrations.
Nothing makes the wedding celebrations better than happy guests. Whether it be a local or a destination wedding, think about the last wedding you attended and note what you didn’t like. Sometimes it’s better to know what not to do rather than what to do. You have had experience and it’s time to put it to a good use. Let them remember it as a big happy party instead of keeping it like any other wedding. That’s what a perfect wedding should be.